I Have A Say Thanks to My Mom and Dad!!!

Being the oldest of 11, I am so thankful, especially now, for my Mom and Dad saying "yes" to life! Growing up, we never had a ton of money. My Dad was a high school chemistry teacher and my parents decided from the beginning that they wanted to have one of them home with us. My mom gave up her teaching career, and raised me, followed by 10 others! My Mom also taught all 11 of us at home for part of our childhood before we would head off to Nativity Catholic Grade School. My Dad worked long hours, eventually earning other degrees so that he could first become dean, then principal, and finally, when I was a sophomore, he was named Roncalli High School's first president. My Dad and Mom both sacrificed SO MUCH for us.

I remember, even as a young person, getting stared at by people, and I remember the comments they would make. I can still hear a dental receptionist asking my Mom "Are these all yours? You know how children are made right?" followed by a real insidious but ditzy chuckle, followed by a secretarial gum crackle. My Mom and Dad were always tight budget wise, and I'm sure at times ached with a desire to not have to take bags of clothes from other families so that we could have clothes. I'm sure my Mom and Dad had desires to simply go to Nordstrom and buy us and give us all our own new clothes and Gameboys and Reebok Pumps etc. I'm sure they at times really wished they could just get a new car and not have to drive a fifteen passenger van around. I'm sure at times they wanted really badly to just go to a restaurant and sit back and enjoy a big expensive meal instead of having to cut coupons and craft together economic meals on the stove.

But they chose life for us, and they chose sacrifice for themselves.

I often think about that ditzy secretary now when our family gets together almost every weekend for dinner to laugh and hang out. Some of the siblings might be out of town or busy with other obligations, but inevitably, all weekend long, every weekend, our family gets together. Sometimes, when we're out at a restaraunt, I see the couples who are alone with each other. They hardly talk to each other and the loneliness is palpable. A part of me feels bad that we're having so much fun with our 8 tables shoved together, telling stories, laughing good hearty and healthy laughs. Sometimes I wonder if one of the couples sitting in the restaurant quietly and solemnly is that dental secretary - who now has piles of money and can eat wherever she wants, but doesn't have hardly anyone to share it with. My heart breaks for the people who are alone, especially the ones who are alone because, when they could have been having children, they instead bought into the contraception lie and lived for themselves only.

I have a say today, and so do my ten younger brothers and sisters, because my parents chose life. Mom and Dad - thanks a million!!!

Friday, March 2, 2012

Carrie - "Hearts Changed and Lives Saved"

Because my conception was the result of a failed contraceptive effort, and my parents did not
abort me, I am alive today, and I have a say. I consider myself a lucky to be alive because at the time,
my non-Catholic parents were fervently “pro-choice” and “pro-contraception”. My parents received
post-baccalaureate educations and were climbing the corporate ladder as medical professionals at a
prestigious pharmaceutical company. My mother had even championed for the building of a Planned
Parenthood affiliate in a rural Indiana County. At the tender age of twelve, it was disclosed to me by my
mother that I was the result of a maladjusted diaphragm, and that even though I was the result of
an “oops”, she and my father loved me very much, and were thankful for me every day. That was then,
and I am here today because I have a lot to say.

I was raised by my married parents who had a lukewarm relationship, at best. We lived in
a privileged, professional, educated, contracepting, and surgically sterile home. This home was also
filled with pornography, adultery, promiscuity, fighting, alcoholism, sadness, grief, anxiety, fear, and
the disrespect of using the other spouse for self-fulfilling needs. The marriage was ultimately devoid
of love and ended in divorce, after 21 years. My only sibling and I were separated, each going to live
with a different parent. We had many toys, nice clothes, ate the best food, drove nice cars, and took
extravagant vacations in our own private airplane. I was miserable and lonely because each parent was
married to their job, keeping them away from us for up to 80 hours per week. I wanted for nothing,
except pure joy and love.

Much like Planned Parenthood, my mother believed that to be a feminist and to become equal
with men, she needed to turn off the very part of her being that made her female, her fertility. Planned
Parenthood’s definition of equal rights for women extends to human sexuality, seemingly to say, “You
can’t be fully equal to a man, unless you are able to have sexual relations without consequences as
well”. But are we really granted sex without consequences when choosing to contracept? Does
without consequence include the risks for blood clot, heart attack, stroke, cancer, disease, unintended
pregnancy, ectopic pregnancy, abortion, depression, anxiety, and death? When did Planned Parenthood
try to rewrite history and do everything they could to change the procreative to recreation?

Men and women are not the same. They are intended to be complimentary. You cannot have
one without the other. If you have two boxes of cake mix, but no more ingredients, you still do not
have a cake. Planned Parenthood is trying to free women, but in all actuality, they are actually shackling
them with chains to a lifetime of depression and despair, devoid of pure love and joy. One thing that
can give women this love and joy is to celebrate their fertility with a loving and committed husband.
This mutual respect will compliment and honor the other giving each human a sense of well being that
cannot be compared.

I can say that I know this because I have lived both sides of the coin. Early in my adult life, I
was well on my way to a failed marriage and unsatisfactory life, as I saw my marriage ending just as my
parents’ did. I had one relationship with a man for several years before we ultimately married. We
used various forms of contraception prior to and after we wed. We carefully planned the arrival of our
first child after our educations were completed and careers began. In an effort to salvage our already
crumbling marriage, we joined The Catholic Church and gave serious thought to The Church’s teaching of human sexuality. The miracle is that hearts can be changed. It was my mother, who after the divorce
became Catholic. It was at her urging that we considered it. I now have a husband that practically
pleaded with me to cease all contraceptives, use Natural Family Planning, and to begin to fully give
ourselves to one another. What happened was initially surprising, but now I can clearly see. We began
to replace fighting and discord with joking, laughing, playing and loving. For the first time in my life I
knew what real happiness and joy was; I was no longer lonely. It was the perfect marital love that I had
been looking for my entire life.

I may have been an “oops” in the eyes of many, but I can say with all honesty that each of my 4
children are not. Because I chose a different way of life for myself and my family, I have a say. Without
choosing to follow this very precious philosophy that has been upheld by Catholics for nearly 2,000
years I would not know the respect, love, and joy that I now know. I am adored and cherished in a way I
never thought possible, all because of a mutual respect for one another in a relationship where husband
and wife are willing to give all to the other. My femininity is celebrated, not shackled, and I feel free.

Currently, I am free to live as I believe but this may not continue to be the case for my children,
but it isn’t too late. I am grateful for those who consider what I have to say and hope that hearts are
changed and our freedoms regained.


  1. What a BEAUTIFUL story! THANK YOU for sharing this miraculous, hope-filled transformation! WOW! And a saved marriage! WONDERFUL! I was the 5th of 5 children. My father felt he needed to get sterilized after five, so I guess I was a sort of "oops" too. Some day, hopefully soon, I'll post my own, "I have a story." GOD BLESS YOU!

  2. Thank you so much for sharing your story--you and I have a very similar experience with parents dedicated to what Planned Parenthood espouses. The truth is that believing that is the cause of misery and a lifetime of pain. Like you, I have found the Truth that never changes. God Bless you & your beautiful family!

  3. Dear Anonymous,
    Thank you for your story of what living in the 20th and 21 st century was and is for many. Thank you for choosing your feminine dignity, for choosing life and for choosing love.
    I would like to publish your story in our bulletin. Do I have your permission to do so?

    Thank you. Annette