I Have A Say Thanks to My Mom and Dad!!!

Being the oldest of 11, I am so thankful, especially now, for my Mom and Dad saying "yes" to life! Growing up, we never had a ton of money. My Dad was a high school chemistry teacher and my parents decided from the beginning that they wanted to have one of them home with us. My mom gave up her teaching career, and raised me, followed by 10 others! My Mom also taught all 11 of us at home for part of our childhood before we would head off to Nativity Catholic Grade School. My Dad worked long hours, eventually earning other degrees so that he could first become dean, then principal, and finally, when I was a sophomore, he was named Roncalli High School's first president. My Dad and Mom both sacrificed SO MUCH for us.

I remember, even as a young person, getting stared at by people, and I remember the comments they would make. I can still hear a dental receptionist asking my Mom "Are these all yours? You know how children are made right?" followed by a real insidious but ditzy chuckle, followed by a secretarial gum crackle. My Mom and Dad were always tight budget wise, and I'm sure at times ached with a desire to not have to take bags of clothes from other families so that we could have clothes. I'm sure my Mom and Dad had desires to simply go to Nordstrom and buy us and give us all our own new clothes and Gameboys and Reebok Pumps etc. I'm sure they at times really wished they could just get a new car and not have to drive a fifteen passenger van around. I'm sure at times they wanted really badly to just go to a restaurant and sit back and enjoy a big expensive meal instead of having to cut coupons and craft together economic meals on the stove.

But they chose life for us, and they chose sacrifice for themselves.

I often think about that ditzy secretary now when our family gets together almost every weekend for dinner to laugh and hang out. Some of the siblings might be out of town or busy with other obligations, but inevitably, all weekend long, every weekend, our family gets together. Sometimes, when we're out at a restaraunt, I see the couples who are alone with each other. They hardly talk to each other and the loneliness is palpable. A part of me feels bad that we're having so much fun with our 8 tables shoved together, telling stories, laughing good hearty and healthy laughs. Sometimes I wonder if one of the couples sitting in the restaurant quietly and solemnly is that dental secretary - who now has piles of money and can eat wherever she wants, but doesn't have hardly anyone to share it with. My heart breaks for the people who are alone, especially the ones who are alone because, when they could have been having children, they instead bought into the contraception lie and lived for themselves only.

I have a say today, and so do my ten younger brothers and sisters, because my parents chose life. Mom and Dad - thanks a million!!!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Amy Ivsan - 2 Kids, No Husband, Wrapped in Grace

I have a say because if any person should not have a say, due to disobedience and willfulness, it should be me; yet the merciful Lord fashioned me so I could one day say that I have a say.

Most importantly, my body has been a vehicle to bring two lives into the world so they could say that they have a say. One child I had before my Catholic conversion. The second child arrived years after my conversion. I have never been married. Needless to say neither of my children entered this world into an ideal situation, yet they were a part of God's perfect plan.

The first sentence in the first chapter of the late Dr. Scott Peck's book, The Road Less Traveled, is "Life is hard." His one sentence has truly characterized my existence, and particularly my conversion experience. I elected to enter the Church in my twenties, or should I say God handpicked me out of the mire of my own design, and told me to become Catholic? If I knew all I would have to endure, I probably wouldn't have had the courage to join the Church, but Grace has kept me going.

Conversion requires a cross.

Sanctification requires suffering.

Love IS sacrificial with a bitter sting.

And I suffer from what Archbishop Fulton Sheen calls staurosphobia. Fear of the cross.

My most recent cross and one of my mightier challenges involves the arrival of my son, Tereso Michael John Paul Bagley. He was born June 18th, 2010. When I was pregnant, his father was extradited to Texas facing a 25 year to life sentence. The thought of bringing another fatherless child into this world at my age was unpalatable, yet I embraced the privilege of life. Even though the father came back, we are now separated because he nearly strangled me unconsciousness and beat me very badly. I had a broken nose, black eye, concussion, and inner ear injury resulting in vertigo. My child was placed in foster care when he was nine months old, due to domestic violence and drug abuse on the part of the father. He beat me when I was pregnant, he beat me after the child was born, and on one occasion he had baby in one hand and hunting knife in the other, pressed to my back. I had no money, no family, no where to go, and a baby to protect.

Today I am free of this situation, I am working, I am getting a place soon, and my son back in three months. I live with no regrets and would go through it 100 times over, just to protect and bring his little life into being. I have a significantly older child, a teenager, whose father has never been in her life. Another drug addict. I guess you could say I have a heart for the heartless, and a love for the unlovable. I am not a holier than thou person. I do not even wish I could say I am married, homeschool, and make my own soap. That was never God's plan for my life. Yet part of His plan was to use me as a vehicle to bring two lives into this world. The special grace God afforded me with both pregnancies, is a deep-seeded, inexplicable, interior knowledge that life is majestic. Abortion is NEVER an option. He showed me how strong of a mother I was that I could even protect my son, in an impossible situation, and make painful decisions in his interest to guarantee his safety until I could.

Once a woman experiences a term of pregnancy and births a baby into being, you feel invincible, like you have a capability and strength to do anything. You are instilled instantaneously with nurturing love, and biological motherhood becomes expanded by the practice of spiritual motherhood. All people are God's children, and as a mother, they become our children in the maternal sense. Motherhood is the highest calling in my opinion, with graces to be experienced and delivered unlike any other vocation. We share in God's creative plan. It is too deep and extraordinary to put into feeble words. Two things I often reflect upon is, 'I can do all things in Him who strengthens me,' and, '...having done everything(humanly possible) stand firm with faith as your shield.'

As I have embraced motherhood within imperfect circumstances, I realize ever more strongly today all impediments and interference to God's action of creation and its ultimate consequence of the destruction of life is purely evil and satanic. I have never forgotten Fr. Corapi's strongest of words, "Never forget Satan wants your children dead in a garbage can!" And fifty million unborn American children to date, that we know of, are dead in the landscape of a satanic dump yet their most precious of souls are carved in the Palm of Crucified Christ. The slaughter of holy innocents has become the foundation of the demise of civilization, rapidly deteriorating, on the altar of satanic sacrifice. Cecile Richards is a voice and advocate for the devil's agenda. She does not represent or speak for the interest of women, but destroys their vocation and identity through her profession.

I have a say, and I have children who will one day have a say. As youths, their testimony lies in being. I have a say Cecile, and you are being warned, "Here comes the Catholic church." We are a force to be reckoned with because in the end we win. I have a say and it can be summed up in two words. Imago dei.

Visit Amy's Blog, "Sacred Heart of Jesus - You Got Me!" by clicking here


  1. This is absolutely BOLD and BEAUTIFUL!!!! THANK YOU for writing this and for sharing! I work in a crisis pregnancy center, and plan on printing and using this with clients!! God Bless, many prayers for your continued healing!

  2. Beautifully said. You definitely have a gift with words and a poweful messsge. God bless!

  3. Thanks for your story! Not one of us are perfect, but we are all loved by the Father:)